I've been thinking that my insecurities probably stem from a need to be achieving, and I can't point to many major accomplishments lately. Setting little goals and achieving them helps. I could devote all my time and energy to helping my kids become accomplished, and I do devote considerable time and energy to my kids' development and well-being. Maybe I should have forced them into more sports and lessons than I have, but other than early swim lessons and piano lessons we've mostly presented them options and let them choose.
As far as comparing ourselves to others, I need to watch what I say to my kids. Take, for example, a recent conversation with Anna (age 12) in which I'm trying to convince her to take swimming lessons. After arguing the advantages of not drowning, I resorted to, "You're going to swim in 7th grade p.e.--do you want to be the worst swimmer in there?" To which she wisely replied, "Mom, someone's got to be the worst. I don't see the point in working hard just so that someone else has to be the worst." Bravo, darling, but you still need to learn to swim. A second example: we often play on our 4 year old's vanity to get her to get dressed or do her hair ("Your friends are going to think you're so cute"). Probably another topic altogether.
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