At the end of his 13th birthday (long after he should have fallen asleep), S let me know his day had been a disappointment. Not terrible, just not as special as he'd hoped.
At first I felt defensive--hadn't I woken up at 6:30, gotten him breakfast and made his lunch? Special trip to Target to buy hazelnuts for the homemade chocolate hazelnut cheesecake. No hassling about excessive video gaming after school. Dinner out--not Tucanos, as he might have wished, but an enormous bacon, cheddar cheeseburger (Iggy's). Free ice cream sundae to himself, plus said cheesecake later. Received everything he asked for (a couple video games) and more.
Later I thought about what I could have done more--I could have made a big breakfast instead of getting Costco cinnamon rolls out of the freezer. Could have made a more special lunch, or taken him out. Could have decorated with balloons and such.
Daughter A recently announced that she wants a big bunch of balloons and/or flowers delivered to school on her birthday (in spring). I'd actually had a similar thought a few days earlier, when one of my students received a balloons and flowers in class. But then I thought that other kids would feel jealous. Maybe that's the point, and my kids are usually the ones feeling jealous. This morning I thought, maybe I should deliver balloons to S today at school, but then I thought, he's in 7th grade, attending a high school, and I'm his mom. Not cool.
I'm not going to beat myself up too much--I've long realized that while I'm reasonably good at a number of things, celebrating holidays in memorably excessive ways is not one of those things. I'm working on it.
I think that my boys both went through a similar stage. They are too old for birthday parties and balloons so an aspect of the magic is inevitably gone and they mourn it's passing. Eventually they readjust and move on. Don't take it personally.
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